174 Days - Integrity

On Saturday night, I found myself on the 2nd row of my very first MMA cage fight. My heart was racing. After seeing 6 men previous to this beat the crap out of each other, I wondered now how I would feel as I saw one of our own step into that ring. A sea of red shirts painted the first three rows of the fight. We had all arrived early to secure those positions. As Pablo's name was announced, we all stood up and screamed. Coach LeClair followed him with the video cameras and Team CrossFit Academy logos covered his fight attire.

The first two rounds went quickly and Pablo fought hard. His apponent seemed to have no other move other than to hold him against the side of the cage. Due to a loophole in the contract, apparently any fighter could opt out of the fight after two rounds, even if they were ahead, and the points would only count for those fights, declaring the winner. We watched as Pablo's apponent took the easy way out. It was clear, had there been another round, that Pablo would have taken him out.

After DNFing Coyote Two Moons and even a Mt. Wilson Training Run on Saturday morning due to my lungs, I realized that it was time to start fighting again. I reluctantly took a few puffs of my inhaler and laced on my new running flats. Time to prove to myself that my previous 5k time was not just a fluke.

I ran hard, but I tried my best not to compromise form for speed. I could hear Carl's voice in my ear telling me to pull my foot from the ground and keep my elbows in. A mile from my apartment, it was not looking good, but I kept pushing. I finished in 23:15, not a PR, but still my second best 5k time so far.

Next weekend I will race my first 5k in a sanctioned event in about 5 years. Eric and the rest of my CrossFit family will be there too. Since I started focusing on my speed, I have been so scared to disappoint my coach, and even Carl. But I realized something as I watched Pablo fight last night. If I run as hard and fast as I possibly can, and I only run a 25 minute 5k... that is acceptable. We go back, we analyze what I did, we try again. If I go out and kick back, barely pushing and somehow PR, not good enough. That's what it means to be a CrossFitter.

On Thursday, we did a workout in class called the Maltz Challenge, in honor of a fallen soldier. Eric gave us this speech before class, giving us a very strong warning about our integrity in his class. If anyone cheated the work out in any way shape or form, they would be publically humiliated and kicked out of our facility forever. I liked that. It made me realize that I was in the right place. My integrity is there. The rest will come in time.