121 Days - "Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well"

"Sweetie?"

The voice interrupted the darkness that surrounded me. Where was I?

"Baby, I have to go to work..."

Holy crap, did I just sleep through 3 alarms? Despite that, Carl must have gotten ready like a ninja. I never slept this hard, but maybe my body knew it was the last shot before everything began.

I went back to sleep and once again found myself on the AC trails, pushing through the night, alone this time. My mind was replaying like a movie every step that I took with Mike the last time that we were on that course. I sprinted down long single tracks and through a campsite where I mistakenly judged snoring for a bear growling. I watched the sunrise over the beautiful Angeles Crest National Forest knowing how close but yet how far I was. When my alarm woke me again at 7:30, it was time...

I was supposed to take this slow, as a test. And I did at first. The block around my apartment was around 1200 meters. I would loop around every 10 minutes for 30 minutes, resting in between each, for a total of 3 laps. I finished the first loop in 5:09. That felt good. I pushed just a little but not too hard. Maybe I would test it and go a little harder on the next one. 4:58. Could I go harder and still feel good? 90% on the last loop. I finished in 4:48, panting and gasping for breath, my chest still in tact. Maybe not the smartest thing, but I know myself and how competitive I get. If I am doing the Mt. Wilson Race on Saturday there is a chance that I will suddenly want to push and I would rather have done it now, around the apartment than stuck up on a trail. The only indication of the injury was some mild tightness (atrophy of the muscles perhaps). I felt good enough to get excited about Saturday.

If I can remember to simply enjoy the day, the day will be perfect. Carl and I will be out there together for the first time in a race format and I will be able to watch my fellow CrossFitters brave a very tough race. Some of them will never have run 8.6 miles before and I will be able to be there to cheer and watch proudly as they cross that finish line. I won't be the first girl from the Academy to finish this time, but that will be ok. Maybe I would have expected that from myself if I was 100%. But something this injury has taught me is that it isn't always about that. I will come back from this a different runner, more appreciative from the fear that I had that this was something bigger.